shoot me now while I'm happy

Wish List

2011-11-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

Most of my life I have been drawn to capturing animals on film and then digitally. I have often admired photographs in National Geographic and other magazines for their color saturation and sharpness...and I've discovered that most professional photographers used top of the line Canon or Nikon equipment. Having a job that does not pay on a scale where I could ever afford such lenses I resigned myself to making do with what I could afford. $1,000 to me is a lot...a lot...of money. $6,000 o5 $10,000 is astronomical for someone like me. Canon just came out with a new (preorder) 500mm F4...that is incredible...but even those that can afford it are shuddering at the $10,000 price tag. If they are looking at it askanse...how could I ever hope to afford one of these lenses? I have read all the reviews and opinions and the bottom line is...if I want the best possible photos I need the best possible lens..and this is it. But I know I can never afford it...if I had $10,000 I'd have save it....or soon get a car when mine breaks down...or just money to survive on since medical bills are currently eating me alive.

Truth is nothing brings me more joy that photography...but often my images are okay...but not, in my opinion, good enough to match other photographers out there who have far better equipment and more time...and probably feel better than I do at the moment. I wish Canon had some kind of Grant for people like me who could never afford one of their lenses otherwise. Even if I worked for another 5 years and put away as much as I could every year I could still never afford one of these lenses. It makes me sad...I don't play the lottery...maybe I should...unless I sold my images consistantly wich I don't...*sigh*....I guess to get the best equipment being rich helps....unfortunately I am not:-(

Oh Blah Dee, Oh Blah Da Life goes on Ahhhhh...

2011-08-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been on here in a while...reason is I was diagnosed with Endrometrial Cancer which turned into more than that...which required surgery to removed everything that cancer invaded, which turned out to be more than my doctors first thought, which then requires me undergoing chemotherapy and radiation. How's that for a kick in the butt?

Just had my 2nd chemo treatment Friday and I feel like crap right now....no appetite...tummy hurts...head hurts...more that tired. But...only 6 more treatments to go and that ought to be right around Christmas. What I really miss is not being able to go out and take pictures...this one I posted of the abandoned stone house I took last year on Jackson Valley Road off Highway 88. No energy to go out this year...hopefully all my energy comes back in February when I can go back to work! I miss the outdoors!!

Owwww that hurts!

2011-03-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

So last weekend I went out on my birding adventure like normal...had a great day. I drive slow around the refuge because that is when you see things other people miss. Also...pulling over and just sitting in a spot yeilds wonderful results. I tell people to use their cars like a blind...once you pull up somewhere you just sit and the little things comes scurrying back out as if you aren't there. To the left is a photo of a Sora Rail...these birds are very elusive and inhabit the dark recesses of a tule pond, only to be seen by those more patient than others. They move quick, one second they are there....another they are gone. I actually watched this one for quite a while as it fed in the shallows of the pond. Cute little guy. After the pond I moved on saw lots of Ducks, a Merganser, a Great Horned Owl and many of these guys below...Horned Larks. They are very pretty and very striking with their black and yellow. I wandered the roads a little more until sunset when I decided to go to a spot surrounded by water to get a nice sunset shot. The roads were fairly dry...but bouncy, with pothole after pothole filled with water and mud...I had to slow quite a bit to negotiate around these sometimes spine shattering holes...and just I was about to get to my destination the most horrible thing happened....my camera and lens mounted on my window pod mounted to the window, suddenly dropped off and crashed to the dirt road below. I was only going about 10 miles an hour but...it was enough. I stopped, jumped out of the car and ran back to see my lens...detached from the camera.....all the computer ribbons sticking out and the computer board sticking out...the lens had come apart at the base...sheared off actually because the metal struts holding it to the mounting plate and just sheared off...broke...no fixing that...that has to go to the shop. I knelt there in the road surveying the damage and the sunset was very pretty...but...I could not enjoy it. I realized that in my newer RAV 4, the windows curve...they don't go straight across so the pod slipped down as I drove and was not actually holding onto much of the window. A hard lesson learned. I sent the lens to Sigma....it will cost $450 to fix it....I don't have that right now so I'll have to wait. So my photographing days are on hold right now while I figure out how to pay for my lens repair. I bought this lens used but it still set me back $900. I was only able to afford it several years ago after an end of year bonus. I don't get bonuses anymore so....but this lens was so worth it....it is awesome and I love the shots I get with it. So....that's my sad story and yes, seeing that lens on the ground really hurt!

Sad

2011-01-11T19:38:00.001-08:00

So that hawk I posted a pic of didn't make it...nor did this fellow who was rescued by my Supervising Keeper almost the next day. I think he'd been hit by a car too. Then this past sunday one of our Asian Elephants at PAWS, Rebecca, passed away...her hip and leg joints just gave out on her. So I think I'm done with sadness and animals leaving....I'm going on a trip this weekend so hopefully that will help.

2010-12-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

So things have been a bit crazy at my work and now with this weather it is just crazier. I worry about trees the most...only if they decide to fall down...standing up is fine...crashing down is not. And the other day I had a Cooper's hawk, which is a smaller hawk, end up in one of our bear enclosures and he couldn't get out. We managed to get him out and he was fine. Then later I get a call about a large hawk down acting strange on the side of the road nearby. So I grabbed a coworker and we went to the rescue with gloves and blanket and animal carrier. The couple that called were still there and pointed out the bird had crossed the road...running..not flapping and was up on the railroad tracks. They asked if it was strange that the bird hadn't flown...I said yes..something is wrong. So very, very slowly and carefully I approached the hawk. The idea is to get as close as you can and drop a towel or blanket over them. Once birds can't see they usually calm down. This one didn't move...I walked very slowly inch by inch on the slippery talus around the railroad tracks but I was able to get right next to him and he just sat there...but I could see he was shivering. I dropped the blanket on him and he just fell over backwards. We got him in the carrier and he was taken to the bird and pet clinic in Roseville. That's him in the above picture...or her...not sure about that. But we'll see how he does...I think he/she got hit by a car unfortunatly..

The Perfect Sunset

2010-12-01T20:09:00.001-08:00

We never know what is going to be a spectacular sunset. I do know that clouds usually make for one, but we never know for sure until it is happening. I saw clouds that resembled the ones from November 19th. So I grabbed the camera and drove the 15 minutes to the wildlife refuge and got there just in time!

Let me know if you ever get tired of these:-)

Another Beautiful Sunset!

2010-11-21T22:10:00.000-08:00

Lots of people go to the beach to watch the sunset. I'm not close to the ocean so I go to the nearest wildlife refuge. I have discovered the best light sometimes happens many minutes after the sun has set, especially if there are clouds. In this particular shot it was about 10 minutes after the sun had set and the clouds in the foreground were almost as dark as the tree in the immediate foreground. But behind it were these lucious hot pink clouds still being illuminated buy the last rays of the setting sun and in the fold of the clouds the purple blues of shadows.
Storms are great for spectacular cloud displays and tonight was no exception. I love it when the tops of the clouds are pink and the bottoms a lovely azure blue. Reminds me of this ice cream they used to serve at a local ice cream parlor...it was Cotton Candy and it was pink and blue and tasted just like Cotton Candy

The Beauty All Around Us

2010-11-20T18:21:00.000-08:00

About a year and a half ago I had a bad auto accident. My little Toyota RAV4 flipped over 4 times with me in it. My arm somehow got smashed between the car and the pavement and I lost part of the skin on my forearm. But amazingly my arm was the only thing that got damaged...besides my car...which was a total loss. I spent almost two months in the hospital getting fixed up...I had to have a skin graft but before that they put his pump thing on it which had to be changed every other day...that was the worst pain...that and the skin graft from my leg afterwords which hurt like nothing I've ever felt before. They told me it would feel like a really bad sunburn...well it's much worse than that..lol. But I survived and now I have a little bit newer Toyota RAV4 which is essential to get me out into the wildlands to do my photography. The only real problem I have is focusing...see it was my left arm that got mangled and for some reason my thumb will not bend at the joint like it used to. You never realize how important your thumb is for picking things up or turning and gripping until it won't do what you want it to. Now, I have been doing okay, but sometimes when I try to focus quickly my left hand goes weak and just won't turn the focusing ring...it's very frustrating sometimes...but considering what could have happened...I am not complaining. Because I can still get pics like the ones I've posted here....sooooo...I am very fortunate...I know this. I always think there is a reason why things happen, and at the time I had the accident things were very unsure for me and I guess I felt sort of worried about what the future was going to hold. When stuff like that happens you can't really worry about anything else but getting better. Maybe that was just what I needed to do...check out of the world so to speak....and get better. So that's what I did...and continue to do. But being able to take pictures and just getting out and being in nature does me a world of good. I feel sorry for people who don't understand the healing force of nature. Anyone who goes out in it and stays for a while knows what I am talking about. It puts everything in perspective and just brings such peace. I know people who love concrete and steel and hardly ever step foot on grass. I don't think I could live such a life. I'd go crazy. Maybe those people do but it's hard to distinguish them from all the other crazy people. I'd rather run in fields of green and trees and play in rivers and creeks and relish every bit of it. I love seeing animals in their native habitats doing what they should be doing. I watch the ducks fly and land in the water and paddle all around preening and looking very beautiful and I just give thanks. I get to see that and share other people the beauty that is nature!

2010-11-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

It's about 10:30pm on Friday night. I am sitting hear listening to the rain. Last night was a beautiful sunset...It seriously looked like the sky was on fire...no matter how many sunsets I see...they are all spectacular. Now I would've preferred to have been at the refuge during a sunset like that...have some water in the foreground...and some ducks maybe...but...it was a nice thing to see after a long day at work!

Tonight after work it was, very dark and cloudy, then the rain started right about the time I headed home. Been raining ever since. I'm sure there is a lot of snow falling in the mountains.
There is something so peaceful about listing to the rain. Makes me think of that song.

"Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
telling me just what a fool I've been.
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
and let me be alone again. "

I love it when it rains. More rain means more water in the ponds and that means more ducks! More photo ops!

The Fisher King

2010-11-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

So I was watching this Great Blue Heron for a while and these birds are so patient waiting and waiting for just the right moment until the fish comes close to the surface and then whammo...grabs it up! Click on the pic for a supersized view.

It's amazing how good these guys are at catching things!

Using Your Car as a Blind

2010-11-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

So I have realized after years of shooting pictures, that unless I am able to become invisible and levitate...hiding from animals and trying to get good photos of them is hard work. Trying to focus with my bad arm is even harder now...I am working on making it stronger (still weak) but it's frustrating, especially photographing birds in flight.

But I have discovered that if I stay in my car, I get better shots than if I get out and walk around. I remember reading somewhere long ago a photographer said "Use your car as a blind, if you pull over in one spot, pretty soon the birds get used to it and treat it like part of the landscape". This is very true...not always...but most of the time. The birds will intially swim or fly away from an approaching car, but if you park and wait they sometimes come back...and come back quite close. When I was up at the Lower Klamath Refuge a couple of years ago I had pull over to eat a banana and drink some water...I was just chillin when this Rough Legged Hawk came and landed on the sign almost right next to me....I got so excited I had to ditch the banana and get some pics....one is posted above.

Since then I have aquired this new lens, a Sigma 50-100 APO zoom that does me proud. But still...it is heavy...and with my bad arm I cannot hand hold it....so the rest of the following shots...you guessed it...from my car...perty cool!

When you realize you're sick...it's too late

2010-10-04T19:30:00.001-07:00

It is inevitable that if I am around a sick person I will get sick. So a sick coworker came into my office on Friday and sneezed.....twice. I knew I was doomed. Like clockwork on Sunday Morning I had the sore throat and the achiness. It always goes right into my chest and stays....and stays. Most jobs have sick time so employees can take time off to get well. I work for a nonprofit and we don't get sick time...we don't get vacation time either...or even time off for bereavement. So we all have to work...if we want to get paid, and if you are your only means of support, you cannot afford to not get paid. So it forces sick people to go to work...and make their coworkers sick. I don't know why certain people don't understand the need for employees to take time off to get well when they are sick.

New Bird Feeder!

2010-02-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

I don't care what age you are; there is just something about birds that makes hearts sing. So I got this new bird feeder for my 50th Birthday. A Droll Yankee they call it. It's pretty much a tube with little openings on the sides and perches for the birds little feet. For finches I put thistle or Nyger seeds in it and in about 3 days they found it and have been feeding on it ever since. Pretty awesome! I put it about 25 feet from the house and they mob it every day. Also getting a lot of House Finches, White Crowned Sparrows, Golden Crowned Sparrows and Northern Flickers. Quite a draw. It is very relaxing to watch them. I haven't gotten out much since my accident in June of 09. That will change soon when I get a car!